well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
