I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
