I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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