I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
