If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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