well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
