I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
