Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
