We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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