jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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