your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
