that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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