So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
