Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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