I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
