WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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