I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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