ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
