Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
