There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
