Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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