He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
