Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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