Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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