Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
