I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
