they need to just BURY HIM!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize