whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
How does one acquire holy water?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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