Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
