I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
