lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
should my penis look like a turkey
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
