is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Green mimosas i think yes
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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