party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
tell your sister to shave her snatch
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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