i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
