New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
