PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
