youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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