She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
