Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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