God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
