and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
why do cheetos always look like penises
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
