i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize