Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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