make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
