Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Randomize
