I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
