girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
