i don't like sucking hair
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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