So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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