I CAN MOONWALK!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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