There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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