Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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