i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
