yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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