Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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