So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
