She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
