Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize