I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
PS: I just woke up from my shower
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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