So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
the liver wants what the liver wants
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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