dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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