I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize